Getitng to Know Myself

I don’t know who I am just yet because I feel that I am still trying to figure it out. I do know though that I am here for a purpose and that I am seeking for that purpose. I have learned to be the person that I am so far because of my family and my religion as well.

I was born in Los Angeles, California on April 7, 1989. I was raised in Huntington Park and have lived there since I was born. My parents are from El Salvador and so is my entire family. I am Catholic because my parents raised me as a Catholic. I am the eldest of the three children my parents conceived. I was raised by my grandmother because my parents had to work and I needed a babysitter. I have been taught that family is the best thing that you could have in your life and we should always support each other no matter what your relationship with them is.

I feel though that sometimes I want to get away from my family because they just put too much pressure on all of my cousins and me because they want us to better ourselves. I feel that I need to be perfect in order to satisfy my family’s expectations. It sometimes makes me think what if I would have said no to college would they have really been upset. When I look at the comments my family sometimes makes I just don’t bother trying to figure it out.

One experience that I remember is when I entered high school and I got a couple of B’s my dad was not mad but instead of saying good job he said next time do better. He also said that instead of having B’s he wanted to see only A’s on my report card. This brings me to even feel more pressure on myself for having to always get good grades and never get grades less than a B in any of my classes. I feel that I have to be perfect and never show my flaws or weaknesses.

Another thing that I feel I would want to get out of is being able to pick my own Religion. I don’t mind the religion that I have right now but I feel that I always have to do what my parents want me to do. This brings me to not being able to do what I want to do because they are always making me do what they want me to do. I am honestly not a bad person at all and have never shown a sign of weakness. Instead I am always showing that I am a strong person so that my family will be proud of me and see that I could do what to them is in the norm.

A story that I have about this is that my family believes that we should not have any relationship until we have graduated from college because then we will be someone in life. They always tell us girls that men are not important in our life right now and that the only thing we should focus on is going to school and getting good grades. They say that if we were to have a relationship we would not focus on our school work and would pay more attention to our boyfriend. So my family plays a big role in the person that I am today.

I feel that I am a person who is obedient and would never disrespect any person who I would consider to be an elder. I would also have to follow some of the rules that have been taught to me by my family. This would lead me to having to show that I am perfect when in fact I sometimes wish that I could get out of the world that I am in right